If you’ve been wondering where the caretaker has been, then you’re not alone. The cats have had just about enough of her wandering away for hours at a time, sometimes leaving before the sun comes up and returning long after it has set. Buddy has been particularly irritated, as her absence has meant that his porch time has been seriously compromised. For several days last week the evening routine consisted of an eager Buddy hearing the doorknob turn after dark, a frantic Buddy loping toward the door, and an angry Buddy being herded back into the living room as the door shut behind the caretaker. The final punctuation on this range of emotions has invariably been a frustrated “Marroooo!” Lucky for the caretaker that a late dinner has been enough to placate both cats, though after several days of this routine, they were as clingy as a polyester skirt in February.
But today was perfect bliss. Although the caretaker left for a little while, she returned while there was plenty of sunlight. As she let Buddy out and set up the door so that he could come back in when he wanted, she told him he was free to roam about the cabin. He had no idea what that meant; he only knew he was quite content. This was a day of no rain, no heat, no cold, just sunlight and birds and squirrels and falling leaves to pique the interest of an inquisitive cat. Yes, perfect bliss. Briefly.
Five minutes into bliss, the return of Mr. Shorty created infinite angst in the soul of a black and white cat who previously been at peace with himself and the universe. He had just finished surveying the porch to find the best vantage point for squirrel-watching when he noticed Mr. Shorty sauntering toward the Seafoam Cottage. As a completely outdoor cat, Mr. Shorty is free to roam about a much larger cabin, with immeasurable amenities. In other words, Buddy was relegated to coach, while Mr. Shorty was flying first class. As the lucky feline made his way up the driveway, he stared hatefully at Buddy, swaying from side-to-side like an arrogant boxer. A few yards from the door, he swerved toward the tree, driving Buddy almost crazy. As Mr. Shorty wandered out of Buddy’s line of vision, there was a moment of sheer terror on the screamed-in porch as Buddy tried to figure out what to do.
To understand Buddy’s quandary, the gentle reader should know that Mr. Shorty’s normal behavior is to continue in the other direction, down the side yard into the back yard, his entire trip in plain view of the coach cabin. At this point, Buddy normally follows him down the side of the porch until he is out of sight and then bounds into the front door to catch up with him through the kitchen window. That scene may have been posted before, but it’s worthwhile to repeat it here:
So when Mr. Shorty swerved to Buddy’s left instead of his right, Buddy was at a loss. He darted inside, looked toward the kitchen, and immediately realized that would not get him what he wanted. He bounced back and forth a few times and then darted back out onto the porch. And then a miracle happened. In the back yard, where Mr. Shorty would have been if he had taken the right road, there was a squirrel busily gathering walnuts and providing enough motion to make Buddy forget that Mr. Shorty was somewhere in the world needing to be hated. The sinews that had until that moment been straining to tear Mr. Shorty limb from limb were now twitching and itching to skin Murrell the Squirrel.
And once again, God was in His heaven and all was right with the world, or at least good enough. Mr. Shorty was last minute’s news. As Murrell moved about the first-class cabin, he consumed the in-flight nuts, and Buddy watched the in-flight entertainment from his seat in coach. He really must hire a better travel agent next time.
You always make me laugh 🙂
Thanks, Melanie. It’s pretty zany around here much of the time. It makes me happy to pass along the shenanigans.
Those cats in first class are always so arrogant.
Too true, Cathy. Buddy has decided that’s the last time he gets his ticket from Cheap Flights.
Feck, feck, feckity, feck MEOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!