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Archive for the ‘Criminal Mimes’ Category

On the morning of 24 October 2014, a felt mouse was found in the water bowl of Stratford Palace, the second such incident to occur on the premises this year. An anonymous ring-tailed witness confirmed that the drowning victim had recently been involved in an altercation with the king. The matter remains under investigation.

The king, pictured below staring mournfully at his second favorite minion (identified as Blue Felt Mouse), made a valiant attempt to rescue the victim, but was “grossed out by the wetness of Blue’s yarn tail.” Acting on the king’s behalf, the palace caretaker was able to retrieve the mouse’s body and fluff it in the clothes dryer, rendering it somewhat useful again. It is currently hiding behind the door in the caretaker’s room in an attempt to avoid further harm.

The king was overheard to say that because he has viewed Criminal Mimes almost obsessively for the past few years, he knows that it is only a matter of time before the Feline Behavioral Analysis Unit (FBAU) is called to deliver the profile of a cereal killer. He would just like them to know that his profile looks best from the left side.

A Second Victim

A Second Victim

 

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